Well as I said, I was a kid in a candy store. . . I was talking to new men every day. Some I was having casual conversation with, some sexting, some more "detailed" conversations. I loved every minuet of it. I loved how it made me feel wanted and sexy. Every conversation was exciting and quiet frankly I would have loved to fuck everyone of them. Since it was later in November when we played for the first time, holidays, family and family illness really got in the way of scheduling more play time. So, it went to the back burner for a bit and after the first of the year, I started a new job and started talking to several new friends. Conversation was very hot and heavy with several guys, one in particular way Jay. Jay I met on Kik through a girl that wanted me to join her gang-bang the first weekend in February. I talked to her on fetlife for a long time and she suggested I start talking to Jay, he was organizing the bang and had done this with a group of friends for several years.
Conversation with Jay was easy and as it turns out he was from my area. So we talked about playing one on one and setting up a smaller bang closer to home. Well as things go, the other girls plans changed a few weeks before the bang and had to cancel. Jay and I decided that he would put together a smaller bang closer to home for the same weekend. Well that weekend, I had to get ready! I bought a great new dress, some amazing lingerie, and of course new stockings!! I was so excited, every time I drove by the hotel it was to be at my heart dropped and then started racing.
Well as life would have it, tragedy struck our family the Wednesday before it was to take place. My father passed away suddenly. I kindly sent a message to Jay and explained to him what happened. He was understanding and said we would just reschedule when I was ready. I took several weeks off from talking to anyone just so I could recover.
I'm not sure that time heals all, but I was getting stronger by the day and decided it was time to start talking to Jay again. Well as scheduling would go, it took several weeks to try and get something together again. The weekend was fast approaching for the bang. I messaged him the Sunday before and he said he was putting together the final details and would let me know what time as soon as he heard from the other men. Wednesday rolled around and I messaged him again, no answer. At this point I felt like something was going south for the weekend. Sadly I never heard from Jay again, but lesson learned on which conversations will actually progress into a real play date and which ones won't.
I've learned a lot about how to read a person through messaging and which people you should just leave behind. As a generally trusting person, this was a skill I needed to learn very quickly. Luckily I have not had any bad situation arise. But at least I can avoid those from the start now.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Removal of the band-aid
Well at this point I had been talking to a few men for a couple of weeks. I hadn't set anything up yet because quite frankly it was scary. When I got married I had been with three men total, I'd fooled around with a few more than that but sex with only 3. It was a huge step to think about having sex with another man, especially since it had been 12 years since I had even considered another. It wasn't about the intimacy for me, it was more my fear of what if I'm not as good as I think, what if men don't find me attractive anymore, what if sleeping with another man while my husband watches is just to freaky. Despite my insecurities, the flirting and sexting had gone far enough! It was time to make a date. I remember the guy I choose had one face picture he sent me, so I didn't exactly what to expect. He had done this before so it made it easier, we tried several nights to schedule something, but due to one schedule or another we couldn't get together. Well after about a week of trying we found a night that worked for both of us. We deiced that I would host just after 8 pm. I was apprehensive all night, I wanted to back out a million times. I don't think I ate a thing that night for dinner, I went for some liquid courage. I remember sitting on the couch with my husband having a serious discussion about if either other of felt uncomfortable or jealous everything would stop immediately, no questions asked. We also discussed that regardless of what happened our marriage would always come first. It was important to both of us that we knew we could depend on each other before, during and after! Right before he was suppose to show up I was literally shaking and pacing the house. I saw his car pull up in front of my house and my heart sank, but I wasn't ready to back out. I was exhilarated, nervous, and scared shitless all at the same time!
He walked in the door and all of a sudden the nervousness went away and all I remember is the excitement of what was next. We offered a drink and some light conversation while he sat next to me on the couch. A few minuets in he leaned over to me and asked if I was ready. I hesitated for a second and replied a very quiet yes. The only thing going through my mind at that moment was oh my god.
He leaned in real close to my face like he was going to kiss me but instead nipped my lip. After a split second he stood up, undid his pants and told me to come suck his cock like a good slut. I was all his at that point! I've never felt more like myself than at that moment. I started slowly but he didn't let that go on for long, he grabbed the back of my head and took what he wanted, I thought to myself I should really feel bad about doing this in front of my husband and I should be totally ashamed of how good this feels, but I didn't care he gave me exactly what I needed at that moment. After he fucked my throat for a while he picked me up, put my knees on my couch while my back was to him and finally fucked me. He wasn't nice about any of it, he was very demanding and took exactly what he wanted. He pulled my hair, slapped my ass, and moved me where he wanted me! He then decided it was time for my hubby to join in, he had me crawl over to him and start blowing him while he fucked me doggy style. While crawling over to my hubby I could clearly see he approved of the whole thing since he was already rock hard before I even got to him! Being forced to blow my husband every time he pumped into me was even better than I imagined. I don't know if it was the loss of control or the new situation but I was lost in the sex and loving it!!! I knew the sex wasn't about me or my pleasure which I think actually turned me on more. Once he was done with me, he told me to get back on my knees and look up at him, he thanked me by blowing a fantastic load all over my face and allowing me to lick some of it up! After that he got up put his clothes back on, gave me a hug, thanked hubby and left. It was the ultimate feeling of being a SLUT!! And I loved it. Hubby and I proceeded to fuck and discuss it for several hours after he left. The band-aid had been removed, it didn't hurt, there was no jealousy, and we both had the experience of a lifetime!!
I figured that in the morning there would be remorse and shame, boy was I wrong. All I wanted when I woke up that next morning was more sex with strangers. And surprisingly hubby did too! I was like a kid in a candy store!!
He walked in the door and all of a sudden the nervousness went away and all I remember is the excitement of what was next. We offered a drink and some light conversation while he sat next to me on the couch. A few minuets in he leaned over to me and asked if I was ready. I hesitated for a second and replied a very quiet yes. The only thing going through my mind at that moment was oh my god.
He leaned in real close to my face like he was going to kiss me but instead nipped my lip. After a split second he stood up, undid his pants and told me to come suck his cock like a good slut. I was all his at that point! I've never felt more like myself than at that moment. I started slowly but he didn't let that go on for long, he grabbed the back of my head and took what he wanted, I thought to myself I should really feel bad about doing this in front of my husband and I should be totally ashamed of how good this feels, but I didn't care he gave me exactly what I needed at that moment. After he fucked my throat for a while he picked me up, put my knees on my couch while my back was to him and finally fucked me. He wasn't nice about any of it, he was very demanding and took exactly what he wanted. He pulled my hair, slapped my ass, and moved me where he wanted me! He then decided it was time for my hubby to join in, he had me crawl over to him and start blowing him while he fucked me doggy style. While crawling over to my hubby I could clearly see he approved of the whole thing since he was already rock hard before I even got to him! Being forced to blow my husband every time he pumped into me was even better than I imagined. I don't know if it was the loss of control or the new situation but I was lost in the sex and loving it!!! I knew the sex wasn't about me or my pleasure which I think actually turned me on more. Once he was done with me, he told me to get back on my knees and look up at him, he thanked me by blowing a fantastic load all over my face and allowing me to lick some of it up! After that he got up put his clothes back on, gave me a hug, thanked hubby and left. It was the ultimate feeling of being a SLUT!! And I loved it. Hubby and I proceeded to fuck and discuss it for several hours after he left. The band-aid had been removed, it didn't hurt, there was no jealousy, and we both had the experience of a lifetime!!
I figured that in the morning there would be remorse and shame, boy was I wrong. All I wanted when I woke up that next morning was more sex with strangers. And surprisingly hubby did too! I was like a kid in a candy store!!
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